Choosing to end a toxic marriage or relationship may be the best thing for you, but that doesn't mean that it's going to be easy to heal and rebuild your life in the aftermath.

Here are some strategies to help you to start healing and rebuilding your life.

In fact, you may find yourself in as much emotional turmoil and pain as you were while you were in the relationship. That's partly because you have to let go of the dreams you had for the relationship....the dreams you had that you would be together, that you would raise your kids together and spend a lifetime together.

You have to let go of that dream and you have to accept the painful reality that the relationship is over.

You also have to come to terms with the fact that you've invested time (years of your life) and effort into this relationship and into someone who may have been cruel and abusive toward you.

Healing from any breakup is a slow and painful process.

So give yourself some grace and be kind to yourself as you go through the process.

Unless you're co-parenting with your ex or you have some other genuine reason to continue contact with your ex, it's best to cut off all contact with your ex, especially early on in your healing journey.

If you're co-parenting, working together or have some other reason where going no contact is impossible, then minimize the interactions with them to a bare minimum and to the absolute essentials only.

Part of going no contact or low contact involves not stalking your ex on social media to see what's going on in his life.

Instead, focus on rebuilding your own life and put your time and attention into your own healing journey.

When the urge comes up to stalk him on social media or send him a message on some made up pretext, muster up your inner strength to resist that urge. Instead, reach out to a coach or a friend for support.

After a few days, these urges will lessen dramatically and within a few weeks, they will disappear completely.

Having a coach support you through this challenging period can make a tremendous difference in how fast you heal and move on. Feel free to reach out to me if you need support.

It can be very tempting to numb your painful emotions with food, alcohol, drugs or activities like partying. And although you might feel better in the moment, these things usually lead to problems later on down the line.

It's far better to give yourself the time and the space to experience whatever emotions come up so that you can process them and let them go.

Working with a qualified coach or a therapist to understand and process your emotions can be an invaluable part of the healing process.

Knowing that you have someone in your corner to help you through this can be very reassuring.

Journaling can be a powerful tool in your healing journey. It can help you to get everything out of your mind and onto paper where you can look at things more objectively.

It can also be very cathartic and provide a wonderful release for all those painful emotions.

And months down the line, reading your old journal entries will serve as a reminder of how far you've come.

This is a wonderful time to reconnect with family and friends. It's crucial that you build out your support network and that you surround yourself with people who can give you the love and support you need during this difficult time.

If you don't have a good support network, it's even more important to reach out and get the help of a supportive coach.

In a toxic relationship, you often have to put aside your own needs and wants in order to focus on your partner. Your own self-esteem has already taken a beating and you may have forgotten who you were before the relationship.

Spending time alone can help you to rediscover who you are.

This can be intimidating at first, but you will gradually come to treasure this time alone.

Spend this time journaling, working through your emotions and planning your future.

Give yourself time and space to heal before you rush into a new relationship.

This allows you some space to examine your role in the relationship as well as heal some of the childhood wounds that make you susceptible to attracting a toxic partner.

Once you heal yourself, you will be able to attract a healthy partner instead of a toxic one.

When I work with clients, I help them to uncover and then heal those childhood wounds that got them intoa toxic relationship. I also teach them the red flags to look out for in a new relationship so that you don't end up attracting another toxic partner.

Click here to find out more about working with me.

Take time to care for yourself in whatever way makes the most sense for you....whether that's long walks, bubble-baths, reading a good novel, exercising, going for a massage etc.

Whatever you choose to do, choose something that will make you feel good both in the moment and afterwards as well.

Sometimes we mistaken buffering, numbing activities like over-eating or binge-watching mindless TV shows with self-care. And whilst these activities can feel good in the moment, they often leave you feeling worse afterwards.

These strategies can help you to heal and start rebuilding your life after a toxic relationship and make your life better than before. If you'd like a structured program and the help of a coach to help you to heal, then click here to get more information about my coaching program.